smartest cookie

proving that food is not for thought

i have sold my soul to the wendy’s corporation September 25, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — smartestcookie @ 10:06 pm

so there’s this new thing i started doing. it’s called eat everything in the house until you a) run out of food, b) have a prior obligation (although class is starting to not count) or c) fall asleep.

so yeah, i eat alot. in fact, at 10:48pm, i am STILL eating. i think i am having withdrawal symptoms from not dancing.

oh i hear you, miss “what is she talking about, dance is not something useful or worth missing” debbie downer. well, i’m not kidding. and i will prove it to you.

“ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS” v. CAIT’S ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS*
1. E: water; C: water – ok, i need water too. that one can stay the same.
2. E: protein; C: frosty (Wendy’s. preferably with fries. but only if they’re just made fries. no skanky old fries.)
3. E: carbs; C: carbs oliveG – ok, i can’t survive without olive garden, so lets just rename this to the “oliveG nutrient”**
4. E: fats; C: chocolate
5. E: minerals; C: dance (minerals are not necessary. what are they anyway – rocks?)
6. E: vitamins; C: some form of cheese

there. there are my essential nutrients. as you can see, dance is the 5th one. and i am clearly trying to make up for it by consuming mass quanitites of other nutrients. silly body, calm the fk down. alright good bye, my laptop is staring to look delicious.

*gah, i am such a dweeb. i can’t let a simple fun list go by without making a disclaimer that yes, i took nutrition and therefore know that the list is more or less a list of essential items, but whatever. get over it. get get get get get over it.

**ali g?

 

can’t touch this September 22, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — smartestcookie @ 11:47 am


 

cait cait bo bait banana fana fo fait September 15, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — smartestcookie @ 11:25 pm

well that didn’t take long.

last friday was the first skipped class for the year (HR) and this week = one skipped class as well (finance). WOOHOO! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

so what’s new? well, yesterday, we had our welcome pledges meeting at undisclosed secret fraternity location (aka: south lake) and shirley and i got to pronounce everyone’s names. sounds like fun right? well, you’re wrong as usual.

this will probably get me in trouble, but i can not pronounce anyone who does not have a ‘plain’ name. and i even had trouble with ‘normal’ names. ok – how do you pronounce “kevonne”? apparently its not kevin. and the girl who stood up was like, “its ka-von” and then proceeded to vaporize me with her laser-shooting eyes.

but that was an easy one. let’s try xiao-mei. or qiaofei. or xzn. that’s right, THREE CONSONANTS. honestly – i was so embarrassed because i did either 1) try to pronounce the name as it would sound in english, rendering me ‘ignorant’-sounding, but at least i could blame it on my cultural ignorance, or 2) sound like i’m making fun of the asian/indian/etc (i didn’t discriminate my name-butchering) culture by trying to pronounce it correctly. ugh.

i feel bad for professors.

i’m going to name my kid something horribly mispronounceable like hpi-gness (pronounced penis). and then laugh as they spend years in therapy.

 

pterodactyl September 11, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — smartestcookie @ 11:54 pm

word of the day: redacted

 

penis September 1, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — smartestcookie @ 11:21 am

i was considering titling this entry “last first week of school”, but i wrote penis instead.

so anyway, it is the first week of school and i’ve done well considering my usual style:
> i only overslept twice, but didn’t miss classes or anything because of it (and by the way, oversleeping means like 8am or 9:30am – LAME)
> i’ve attended all my classes
> i’ve done the reading

that last one sums it up pretty well. who reads at college?! like NO ONE. and now i do. its like i like my classes or something.

I’m taking: (on MWF) Federal & State Taxes (so much fun! i volunteered today!), Human Resources (aka: read the spectrum), Business Law (scary), Advanced Corporate Finance*… then on Tues/Thurs we have Audit and Assurance services followed by my only dance class, Dance History. Not much for dance, which sucks. i couldn’t even audition which REally sucks (really with a capital RE just BECAUSE). but enough whining, i have to go to my last class for today. (aka scary law)

*ok so why am i taking Adv. finance if i can’t even understand “intro to finance”? where is my intermediate finance class. or finance for dummies class?

and p.s. – our football team is UNDEFEATED! anyone else as excited as i am?? GOOO BULLLLLS!